As 2014 begins I’m cleaning and organizing the yurt.  This morning I find the journal I kept during pregnancy and start reading through it.  I remember the night of July 25th, asking Edge when he thought the baby would come.  Tomorrow he said.  The next morning my water broke, and though Waylon didn’t arrive until 1:52 am on the 27th, Papa’s instincts were right.  I read the entry from the 25th, remember how I walked through the garden and sat between the Calendula and Tulsi, breathing in their light and calm.  I remember how, with a burst of energy, I pruned the tomatoes.  That night in my journal I wrote to the babe inside me:

Oh little baby, I encourage you to move into birthing position.  I also trust you to do that when it is the right time for both of us–when your body and my body are truly ready.  I love you so much, baby.  Your life is sacred, and you will be born into a beautiful world.  Whatever adventures you choose, I will love you and support you in living from love, in seeking truth, in finding and being joy.  I will do my best to let you go, to give you space, to accept the freedom you are born into, even when I may want to hold on.  I don’t know yet how motherhood will change me–just that is already has, and that it will continue to change me forever. 

 

This is what I wish for us both:

to love each other freely

to see each other honestly

to respect each other

to allow the space we each need to grow

to joyfully share many moments

to grow together as a family in love

 

Baby, you have already changed my life.  You have already brought wonder, joy, love and mystery to me and your Papa.  We both love you so much, and we are so excited to see you and hold you!  Thank you for being here with us, for coming into being inside me, and for all the wonders you will bring and share.  I am doing my part to get ready for birth, and I know you are doing yours.  I will be listening for the time you say when~

 Love and Namaste,

Your Mama

Wonder, joy, love and mystery: these things remain an ever present part of our days, and as we enter a new year, I carry my wish for us forward as a resolution of sorts–that we may continue to grow and discover each day as a new adventure.