I’m giving up.

But it’s not what you think.

You see, lately I’ve been caught between dreams and manifestations.  As we plan for our season ahead on the farm and restate our goals, I find myself riding waves of belief and sureness. I move as if we already have everything we are working towards, and this propels me as we go through seed orders and financial projections.  This has always been the way I work: to say thank you for what I want, and then to live as if it is already here until it really is.

There has been a shortage in this, though.

Some days stress moves in almost without warning.  The last few weeks have been an up and down of belief and breakdown, of feeling as if it is all possible followed by a day(s) where everything is a challenge.

Then I read something about manifesting on The Daily Love:
“When we create space in our lives, we make way for the hands of the Divine to fill it with those things our hearts have long been asking for.”

A few days later, my horoscope in Seven Days read:

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “I believe more in the scissors than I do in the pencil.” That’s what 20th-century author Truman Capote said about his own writing process. Back in that primitive pre-computer era, he scrawled his words on paper with a pencil and later edited out the extraneous stuff by applying scissors to the manuscript. Judging from your current astrological omens, Pisces, I surmise you’re in a phase that needs the power of the scissors more than the power of the pencil. What you cut away will markedly enhance the long-term beauty and value of the creation you’re working on.

And so I’m giving up the static inside that has kept me clenched with stress.  I am clearing out, giving way for lightness to come in.  I am taking the scissors and cutting out all that does not move me: fear, anger, frustration, and I am making space for my dreams to manifest.