I wish that living in a yurt on a Vermont hillside farm could make me immune to the annoyances of broken computers, and the odd frustration that comes when said computer is at the shop getting fixed and I am here with an old iPad that works well enough for emails, but not much more. We finally got a loaner computer, and so I’m back to the blog after a few weeks of sporadic posts.
Truthfully, though, I’ve felt quiet. Perhaps it’s not just the computer issues that have kept my posts minimal and short. It goes like that sometimes, a wave of production followed by a quiet recession back into the deep, like the tide that swells and retreats.
The farm is covered with snow, the garden under perhaps 4 feet of it, and tonight the cold seeps in from under the clear night sky. It’s a night to pack the fire box and keep the dials on the wood stove turned open a bit more than usual.
We’ve been in the throws of spring planning: greenhouse repairs, seeding charts, cash-flow charts, marketing, perennial design, and lists of infrastructure improvements. It feels both exciting and daunting, and we oscillate between dreamy imaginings of all the good changes to come and business crunching, detached from emotion.
The work of a farmer begins long before the greenhouse is fired up and soil is spread out in trays. The seeds we are sowing now are sketches on paper, numbers and images and words. Though it seems like the summer is still far away, this work is important. Before we can manifest something into being, we must first know what it is we want to create.
In all the planning and prep work, in all the manifestations we are setting out into the world, I took out this poem again, just to remind myself that sometimes, it is okay to be demanding as we manifest our dreams:
Throw away all your begging bowls at
for I have heard the Beloved prefers
sweet, threatening shouts, something
on the order of, “Hey, Beloved, my soul
is a raging volcano of love for you!
You better start kissing me–or else!”